Medival: Retun of the Sorcerer
by Lady Assassin Moonbeam
Summary: Zarok's back again with a fiercer vengence than ever! Sir Daniel Frotesque, Alzalam, and some new companions have to stop him again R and R, no flames please.
1. Death's Favorite

Hello everyone! Enjoy my only Medival story.

Disclaimer: I wish I could say I own Sir Daniel Fortesque, but I can't. I own nothing!

Chapter One: Death's Favorite

_Dan's Crypt: The best place to go if your looking for a dead Dan._

Xavier warily pushed herself through the iron gate of Sir Daniel Fortesque's tomb, unfortunately not seeing the first step. She painfully tumbled down the stairs, sprawling out across the stone bottom.

"Owwww," the girl moaned as she wobbled to her feet, dusting off her black slacks and crimson tunic. Steel-gray eyes swept over her surroundings, taking in every inch of the dingy atmosphere. Xavier swept of to the left corridor, peeking her head through as she raised and eyebrow in curiosity. _What idiot puts a training room in a dead man's tomb? _She thought with a snicker. _Oh well. Heroes get what they want. _Crossing over to the right corridor, she strode inside and plucked up a scroll on the floor.

Dan's Diary (No Peeking!)

Immediately, Xavier dropped the paper and slunk back out.

_Note to self: be careful what you read. _Her gaze drifted to the last corridor. Cloak and glass-like hair billowing about her sickly thin frame, Xavier ascended the ramp to Dan's burial chamber, where he lied peacefully. The girl took a deep breath and...

"FORTESQUE!"

The skeleton suddenly jumped five feet in the air, landing, crouched, behind his coffin.

"Who are you?" he asked, speech muffled due to his lack of a lower jaw. "And why are you here?" Xavier sighed.

'I'm Xavier Arrywyth," she admonished, "Death's favorite assistant." She paused before adding, "and his only one."

"Nice to meet you," Dan replied, still a bit rattled from his very rude awakening.

"So where's Al-zalam?"

"Right here!" Al poked his pointy-eared head out of Dan's left eye socket. Xavier clapped her hands together in glee.

"Great! Now let's save Gallowmere!"

"WHAT!"

"You guys didn't know?" Xavier asked, astonished. "But Death sent a letter!" At that moment, a scroll soared through the window, wacking Dan in the head. The girl scowled. "And of course it's late." Unrolling the paper, the hero's only eye scanned the writing.

_Sir Dan,_

_I'm terribly sorry to inform you that that evil sorcerer Zarok is back yet again and my assistant, Xavier, needs your help to defeat him. Please be a dear and help her._

_Sincerely,_

_Death_

"Zarok's back?" Dan asked.

"Yup, and up to his old tricks."

" Then why are we standing here like bumps on a log?" Al exclaimed. "Let's go!"

Thanks ever so much for reading. Please review, but no flames. Thankx.


	2. First Encounter

Hello! Thank you to Dlvvanzor, Elven Sorceress, and Salacassera for their wonderful reviews. Onward to the story.

Disclaimer: Uh, no, I can't say I own anyone except Xavier.

Chapter Two: First Encounter

_The Hilltop Mausoleum: Think of it as a kind of pet shop, but with less fragrant purchasing choices._

Dan unsheathed his sword as he and Xavier neared the Hilltop Mausoleum, a light drizzle making the path slick. Death's assistant also pulled out her weapon: a braided black whip with a solid silver tip. Al jumped at the sight of it.

"Good gravy! You use _that _vicious thing?" Xavier smirked.

"Sure do. It comes in handy when people don't want to _die _willingly." The girl put an extra emphasis on "die", inwardly laughing at Dan's slightly horrified expression. "Don't worry," she assured. "I only use it on villains. Com on." They slipped and slid their way to the top, the rain becoming heavier with each passing moment.

"I sense Zarok is inside this mausoleum," Al muttered as Dan and Xavier hobbled under the stone overhang, escaping the fresh onslaught of the growing thunderstorm.

"Alright," the hero said. Dan forced open the creaky door, Xavier peering over his broad, bony shoulders and glaring. At the front of the giant stained glass portrait of the Stained Glass Demon stood the evil sorcerer, Zarok, sneering down at them.

"Dan!" he exclaimed with a false warm tone. "And ittle wittle Xavier! What a pleasure to see you, _yet again_." Zarok's voice dripped with venom at the last phrase. "Unfortunately, I still cannot watch you get tortured by my faithful minions, so I bid you a _fond farewell." _With a final, dry cackle, he disappeared leaving a furious Xavier and a bewildered Dan.

"I thought I shattered that thing," Dan said, pointing to the Stained Glass Demon. Xavier looked at the skeleton quizzically, then took a defiant step forward. Suddenly, coffin tops flew into the air and a bunch of imps leapt out, grasping firmly to her. She let out an ear shattering scream, flailing about and trying to use her whip, but it wasn't there. Through squinted, terrified eyes, she saw on solitary imp holding her weapon high above it's big nosed head in triumph.

"FORTESQUE!" the girl screeched. "Help me, dammit!"

"You heard her," Al scolded, "move your arse!" Dan readjusted the grip on his sword before charging into the fray, chopping away dozens of the creatures. When she was free, Xavier bounded to the squealing imp, kicking it until her whip came free.

"Idiotic creatures," Xavier snarled, cracking the weapon menacingly. Dan looked at her with same expression as before, but shook his head and pointed toward the open gate.

"Come on," he mumbled grimly. Both shuffled across the red strip of carpet leading to the impending crimson shadow the stained glass cast. Soon, they stood in it's sadistic glow.

"Ah, look," Al pointed out. "The glass is still broken from last time."

"Looks like Zarok did a poor job repairing his minion," Xavier reasoned. Delicately, she tapped a finger on the portrait, shattering it in an instant and leaving a neat little pile of shard.

"That was to easy," Dan said. Xavier nodded in agreement, but frantically shook her head "no".

"Behind you," she hissed ungently. Slowly, the skeleton looked over his shoulder then leapt behind Death's assistant. Coming out of the ground was the Stained Glass Demon, good as new, and an army of possessed mummies. "You take the demon," she ordered, "I'll get the army." With an affirmative nod Dan ran off, dodging the jagged glass pieces hurled at him while Xavier gave her all with the mummies, disintegrating them as soon as the silver tip touched them.

To make a really long battle scene one sentence: Dan destroyed the Stained Glass Demon (again) and Xavier reduced the army to dust in the air. Unfortunately, Death's assistant swung her whip back and accidentally knocked Dan's head off, to Al's dismay. Dan's body made surprised hand gestures, pointing frantically for Xavier to get his head. Hurriedly, the girl sprinted after the rolling body part, snatching it up before it dropped into the underground tunnels.

"Sorry about that," she said sheepishly. "I'm still a little rusty on fighting." Dan jammed his skull back on.

"That's okay. Where do we look for Zarok now?" Xavier gazed thoughtfully out the shattered window.

"Quite honestly, Dan, I don't know." She sighed. "My best guess would be the graveyard."

Alrighty then. Please R & R, but no flames. And for anyone whose wondering, Al-zalam came back to Dan's tomb because he sensed something bad was going to happen, and camped out in Dan's skull. He's there _willingly_, not because he's under a curse. Just in case anyone's wondering. Please stay with me, and don't forget to review.


	3. Zombies Galore!

Alright! Chapter Three.

Disclaimer: Nope, nuh-uh, not a chance.

Chapter Three: Zombies Galore!

_The Graveyard: You wouldn't catch me digging graves in my yard. Spoils the ambiance._

Dan heaved a breath, leaning on a headstone as Xavier sat panting atop another.

"They just keep coming!" the girl gasped as another arsenal of zombies crawled over the bodies of the last wave. Obviously, Xavier could not handle another battle so soon. Dan sighted a gate that he had a rune key to.

"This way!" he shouted as best as he could, grabbing her wrist and dashing around the moaning gaggle of undead.

"What are you doing!" Xavier whispered.

"This!" Dan jammed the rune key into the claw and dragged her inside. The two grinded the iron bars together again, using one of Dan's throwing daggers as a temporary lock.

"I owe you, Fortesque," the girl laughed, regaining her breath. "I owe you big time." Suddenly, they both froze at an angry, nasally voice coming from the Mullock Chief Memorial in the distance.

"YOU IDIOTS!" Xavier and Dan met each others gaze.

"Zarok," they said together, heading for the monument in the distance.

To put it very nicely, Zarok was having a hissy fit, zapping his boiler guards with nasty green lightning bolts.

"YOU IDIOTS!" he roared to the cowering machines. "You messed his up!"

"We're sorry master!" the guards defended. "We'll do better next time."

"For your sake, I hope your right!" The sorcerer blew another few bolts for extra measure before storming off in a huff, the boiler guards in tow. Unfortunately for him, Dan was standing behind a rock with a goofy grin on his face. Xavier peered over his shoulder, tears of suppressed mirth sliding down her sunken cheeks as Al rolled in Dan's skull, choking on his own laughter.

"I wonder what he got so worked up about," Xavier asked. Still giggling, the two strode confidently to the hole made by Zarok's goons. Their happiness died in an instant. Inside was a mangled corpse, several appendages stuck in the wrong places.

"Please...help...me," it rasped through clumsily stitched lips.

"Hurry Dan!" Xavier grunted as she jumped in and hauled the mess of flesh up. "We have to help this thing!"

"By the socks of my father!" Al exclaimed in shock. "It's the Mullock Chief!" After about an hour of jamming body parts in their correct spots, Dan and Xavier helped the rotting chief to stand. "Oy," the genie sighed, leaning out of the hero's eye socket. "You look worse than the pinata from my sister's birthday party after my cousin's got to it."

"And I feel like it too," the Mullock Chief replied. "I am in your debt, good sir knight and fair lady." Xavier looked at him funny for calling her a fair lady.

"Do I really look like one?" she queried sarcastically. "And do you have a name we can call you besides Mullock Chief?"

"Ah, yes. You may call me Larry." Both warriors looked at the chief in utter disbelief. "What? That's my name!"

"It seems weird for a chief," Dan said, scratching his skull absentmindedly.

"I know. My parents wanted me to have a _normal _name." Xavier smirked.

"Understandable. You mind coming along with us? We could use an extra hand in defeating Zarok."

"Anything to get back at that damned sorcerer," Larry growled angrily. "I'm in!"

Don't hurt me for naming the Mullock Chief Larry! (Dodges random flying objects) Anyway, thank you for reading and don't forget to review, but no flames. Please?


	4. Shopping and Questions

Hello! Next chapter, enjoy!

Disclaimer: If you think I own Medival, you are either crazy or aren't thinking at the moment.

Chapter Four: Shopping and Questions

_Gallowmere Plains: Big, flat, and home to a circus. What are you waiting for? Hmm?_

"Roll up! Roll up, for the UndeadCarnival! Play for big prizes! Throw a maggot in the open wound, win a teddy bear!"

"OH! Teddy bear!" Xavier snatched up the wiggling white worm, hurling it at the unfortunate man, wounded and tied to a table. She squealed in delight as she snuggled her "new" ratty teddy bear, worn out and ripped from use as well as missing it's right eye. Her companions took a gigantic step backwards, eyeing her warily. "What?" she asked with a giggle.

"Nothing," mumbled Dan. Al poked his head out again, pointing at a run-down shack.

"Look!" he cried. "Imps! Blatantly selling hooky gear. Maybe pick up a bargain."

"I have 50 gold pieces," Larry said, dangling a muddy coin purse. "Enough for a life potion here."

"I have 100," replied the skeleton, pulling out a coin purse as well.

"Death gave me 100 also," Xavier admonished, shoving her bad into Dan's fingers. "You guys go shopping, I'll look for info in the carnival."

"I'll com with you!" the little genie called out. He leapt from the hero's eye socket, landing gracefully on the assistant's shoulder.

"Meet back in a hour?" Larry offered, fixing his ruffled tribal headdress. Dan nodded.

"Fine with me," Xavier said before entering the circus tent.

"Sold!" The imp salesman stuffed three life potions, Dan's repaired shield, Larry's poisoned knife, and a magic necklace for Xavier (that Dan argued and threatened very hard to get) into a cloth bag.

"Thank you," Dan replied pleasantly, hauling the bag over his boney shoulder.

"Perfect timing," the Mullock Chief said, looking at his sundial watch. "Let's go back to the tent." As the men made their way back, Xavier angrily marched out and sat on the grass, sulking.

"Of all the nerve," she grumbled.

"What happened?" Dan asked.

"What happened?" Al shouted in outrage. "I'll tell you what happened! We go kicked out for asking questions!"

"I spent most of the hour trying to swindle our way out of being banned."

"You weren't banned, were you?" Larry asked incredulously.

"No!" Xavier exclaimed. "Of course not! Just Al and I aren't allowed to go back until we _learn not to interrogate innocent people_." She pouted.

"Wait!" Larry elbowed Dan. "Don't you have something to give to her?"

"Oh yeah." Dan drew out the magic necklace. It was a blood red pendant dangling from the rest of the red and black crystals that made up the necklace.

"Dan! Larry!" Death's assistant hopped up, wrapping the two in a hug. "It's beautiful!" Tenderly, she clasped the necklace around her paper white neck, smiling. "Thank you so much you guys. I've never been given a gift before."

"Well let's keep going anyway," Dan said.

"I almost forgot!" Xavier said. "Some guy saw Zarok heading to the Asylum."

Alright, please r and r, but no flames. Thankx.


	5. Pity the Insane

Disclaimer: Say Dan, do I own you?

Sir Dan: No.

Righto.

Medival: Return of the Sorcerer

Chapter Five

Pity the Insane

_Inside the Asylum: Her be fire breathing monsters, headless ghouls and...oh no, that's somewhere else. This is the one with the mad people in it._

The group approached the grimy, filthy gates of the Gallowmere Asylum. Screams, moans, and maniacal laughter drifted faintly on the air. Dan strode forward, pulling the rope attached to the bell. Ironically, he forgot about the trap door. With a muffled cry, he fell as Larry and Xavier peered down the blackness, listening to the sickening crash coming from the bottom.

"Dan!" Xavier called. "Are you okay?"

No answer.

"Come on," she said. "We better make sure he doesn't hurt himself." The two jumped in, air whizzing past them at breakneck speeds. Suddenly, they slammed into the hard, concrete ground, groaning in pain.

"Um, a little help here?" Turning around, Larry and Xavier saw Dan backed into a corner getting mobbed by dozens upon dozens of zombies and head bangers in starched white straight jackets, cackling like fools. After a while of stabbing, whipping, and slashing at their foes, the group stood atop a mound of dead bodies watching the last head banger run harmlessly in circles screaming, "THE FRUITS! THE FRUITS!"

"We should put him out of his misery," Larry grunted. Xavier nodded solemnly.

"Yes," she sighed. "It's for the best." Dan started toward the poor creature when the girl held up a hand.

"No," she whispered, "something's not quite right about this one." At an agonizingly slow pace, Xavier descended toward the raving creature when suddenly a ray of crimson light shot out from her magic necklace, striking the head banger square in the forehead. It flew back and slammed into the wall like a sack of snakes, writhing and hissing and spitting. Then it lay still.

"Is it dead yet?" Dan asked. Xavier examined the body more closely, then grinned.

"No. Far from it!" Carefully, she undid the straightjacket and helped a little brown haired boy, no older than ten, to his feet. He looked up at her with crystal blue eyes that shone with the innocence only a child would have. He tried to make some sort of noise and Xavier saw that his tongue was cut out. "You poor thing!" she gasped. "No, don't speak. Now, show me who did this to you." The boy thought for a moment, then split his face with a wide smile. He ruffled his hair so he looked like he had two horns, then picked up a stick on the floor. Pinching his face tight, he waved the stick around like a pompous git. Suddenly, he sprinted over to Dan, grasping the arm with his sword and swinging it up and down in a slashing motion. Then he bounced back in front of him and fainted. The boy got back up and shook his head so it looked normal, excitedly pointing to Dan as Larry snapped his fingers.

"Zarok!" he exclaimed. "He must have cut the boy's tongue out for a potion, then turned him into a head banger." Happy surprise crossed the young boys' face as he pointed at Larry and nodded.

"Of all the dirty, rotten things Zarok could pull," Dan fumed, stomping a boney foot, "making a kid into that." Xavier knelt beside the boy.

"Can you show me your name?" she asked. Nodding vigorously, the boy fumbled with a dusty nametag hanging around his neck. Xavier gently lifted it over his head, steely eyes canning the card.

NUMBER 4641737: JOSEPH BROKNER

"Nice to meet you Joseph. I'm Xavier , that guy over there is Larry the Mullock Chief, and the genie Al-zalam is in Dan head." Joseph beamed and bowed extravagantly. "Obviously, you know Sir Daniel Fortesque." Xavier winked at Dan, who rolled his eyeball in response. Then, without warning, the section of floor underneath the group shifted violently before buckling and dumping them into the room beneath. By terrible coincidence, Zarok and his horde of boiler guards were in it. Joseph leapt and scurried behind the three warriors, eyes wide in rational fear as the evil sorcerer cackled.

"Well, if it isn't Captain Fortesque and his idiotic band of mediocre fighters." Zarok quickly signaled his boiler guards to attack. "I'd love to watch your utter demise, but I must tend to my insane army. Getting them in cages is so difficult." Laughing diabolically, he slunk through a door as the boiler guards cocked their weapons and tool aim. Dan and Larry charged head-first into the fray, Xavier hiding Joseph before jumping in also. With morbid curiosity, the boy peeked out around the box he was behind. Death's assistant was nimbly dodging the dozens of shells shot at her while the other two battered their way through. One smart boiler guard opened his furnace door, setting poor Dan on fire. Faintly, Joseph could hear Al's cries of fear as the fire slowly crept up to Dan's skull. The boy frantically looked around for a way to help, and spotted it; above everyone was a pretty extensive sprinkler system. He dashed across the battlefield and dove between the legs of a boiler guard that spotted him. With a jerk, he pulled the lever over and a sprinkling shower rained down, short-circuiting the boiler guards as well as smothering the Flaming Fortesque.

"Joseph!" Xavier exclaimed, hugging the boy. "That was brilliant!"

"Smart move, kid,' Larry agreed, ruffling the boy's hair. Dan nodded enthusiastically, smiling as Al soared onto the boy's shoulder, happily jumping up and down.

"Now," the skeleton said, sheathing his sword, "we need to find Zarok."

(huggles Joseph) Isn't he just a little angel? Okay, please read and review, but no flames. Thanks!


	6. Manhunt

Disclaimer: Dan belongs to the people who own him, which isn't me.

Medival: Return of the Sorcerer

Chapter Six

Manhunt

_Inside the Asylum: Wait, you're still here? Man, you must really be insane._

Dan cautiously poked his skull through the door squinting his eye against the blackness.

"Anything Fortesque?" Xavier yelled. The hero turned back irritably.

"Not yet," he muttered slowly at the pair of legs dangling from the ceiling. Joseph bounded up, shaking his head sadly as Larry cam up from the other side.

"Zarok's not in the bigger dungeons," he reported grimly. Xavier dropped down from the overhead trapdoor she was examining.

"Nothing in the trapdoors," she said.

"And nothing in the other rooms," Dan added. Death's assistant groaned, pouting in frustration as Joseph slipped behind another door, unnoticed.

"I cannot believe that son of a bitch evaded us again!" she raged. Suddenly, Joseph banged the door open, smiling like an idiot. He jumped up and down, pointing excitedly. The three warriors clamored after the boy through the damp passageway where grimy cages lined the hallway, containing people in straight jackets with glowing, possessed eyes. A man, foaming at the mouth, threw himself against the bars in a futile attempt to harm the visitors. Dan jumped back, hiding behind his shield as Larry jabbed the madman with his knife. He fell back, writhing in mental agony.

"You think Zarok put these people here?" Xavier asked, timidly shying away from a caged woman, green eyes glittering dangerously as spittle dribbled from her mouth.

"He did say _insane _army," Dan pointed out.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" The group dodged a poorly aimed gunshot from another boiler guard as it made it's way down. With a nonchalant flick of her whip, Xavier sent the guard's head flying.

"Zarok can't be to far now," the Mullock Chief reasoned. "It is a necessity to find him." After several minutes of cautious maneuvering through the caged insane, they found Zarok and several more boiler guards who were loading cages upon cages of crazies into a large wooden cart. Possessed demon horses stood pawing the ground at the front, snarling viciously.

"We need to find a way to get all those cages out without Zarok noticing," Al said.

"That's impossible!" Xavier hissed.

"No it's not," Larry pointed out a latch at the back of the cart. "If we unlock that all the cages will fall out when they move."

"Great plan," Dan muttered. Suddenly, they heard the horses whinny loudly, galloping off. The group sprinted forward, determined to catch the cart speeding steadily away from them. Unfortunately, none were particularly good runners, and soon they lost the cart. With a very foul stream of curses coming from Xavier, they all stopped to catch their breath at a crossroad. A small, portly farmer sat on a tree stump examining them with curiosity as he chomped away on his sunflower seeds.

"Excuse me," Dan said. "Did you happen to see a big cart pass by?" The farmer sat still with a confused expression on his fat face. The hero repeated his question slower, and the man pointed down the left road.

"They went that 'a way," he drawled. But in fact, Zarok had taken the right road, toward Sleeping Village.

Ooooh, that farmer's gonna get it from Xavier.

Xavier: Indeed.

Well, review, but please, no flames. Thanks for reading!


	7. Attack of the Wheat

Disclaimer: Nope. Can't, don't, won't ever.

Medival: Return of the Sorcerer

Chapter Seven

Attack of the Wheat

_Scarecrow Fields: Prepare to be scared, if you're a crow._

Xavier skidded to a halt, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"It smells like cow manure," she said. Al jumped out on top of Dan's head, surveying the scenery with his wide eye.

"Looks like we're in Scarecrow Fields," he said. Dan stomped a foot angrily, muttering incoherently as Xavier and Larry groaned, realizing that they were told to go the wrong way.

"Now what?" the girl spat. "There's no way we can catch up to Zarok now, unless someone's got a broomstick." Hands on her hips, Death's assistant looked at her companions, rage blazing in her eyes. Dan stroked the spot where his chin used to be.

"Well there is the Pumpkin Witch," he said.

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Xavier strode forward...straight into the cornfield.

"Uh, Xavier?" Larry tried to warn her, but it was to late. With an ear piercing screech, she tumbled out onto the floor, flailing like a fish out of water. Itchy, scratchy wheat demons clawed at her, laughing in morbid delight. After a while, they fled back to the sanctuary of the stalks and left a trembling Xavier on the dirt path. Joseph rushed over to her, helping her up.

"Yeah," she whispered, embarrassed, smoothing her disheveled silver hair. "That was not a smart idea." Larry patted her comfortably on the shoulder with a rotted hand.

"I think it's best to stay on the path," he said calmly. She turned.

"Fortesque, you said the Pumpkin With can get us to Zarok?" Dan nodded, sending Al back into his socket. Xavier smirked. "Then let's go."

With a final swipe of Dan's sword, the attacking scarecrow fell with a faint thud. Al shuddered as he sat pleasantly on Joseph's shoulder.

"I never like scarecrows,' he explained. "It's those handstitched eyes." The boy nodded sympathetically. Larry gazed in astonishment at the wide open plains around them that seemed practically endless.

"We never had fields like this at my tribe," he mused.

"True," Xavier replied, "but it has been nearly a century and a half since your tribal days." Through another gate they passed and saw the path leading to Pumpkin Gorge. Suddenly, the gate slammed shut with a startling crack as a giant mechanical imp rose up and stomped near them. Joseph let loose an involuntary squeak of terror.

"Why couldn't it be a tiny impish mechanic?" Dan moaned, taking out a throwing dagger. With a clumsy lunge of his boney forearm, the dagger sailed through the country air and pierced the imp's gas tank.

KABOOM!

Machine parts rained down from the sky like huge, oddly colored snowflakes. Unfortunately, they hit the ground like meteors, narrowly missing the group. After the thunderous downpour, Xavier creaked open the gate, gazing down the path toward Pumpkin Gorge.

"Are you sure the witch will be able to transport all of us?" she asked doubtfully.

"Positive," the skeleton replied. With another nervous glance from Death's assistant, they all set off down the path."

Alrighty then, you know the drill by now. Thankies!


	8. Everyone Loves Pie

Disclaimer: I do not own Medival.

Medival: Return of the Sorcerer

Chapter Eight

Everyone Loves Pie

_Pumpkin Gorge: Not George, gorge. Pumpkin George hasn't been seen around these parts for years._

Joseph let a lopsided grin spread across his face as he inhaled deeply the wafting scent from the Pumpkin Witch's thatched home.

"Man, that smells wonderful!" murmured Xavier..

"Exquisite!" Larry exclaimed.

"It smells like my mother's roasted pumpkin," Al sighed, remembering. Dan crossed his arms bitterly, grunting loudly. Suddenly, the cottage door flew open.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T WANT ANY GALLOWMERE SCOUT COOKIES!" The group leapt back in surprise at the uncalled for outburst coming from a short, stout woman in a homely dress and pointed witches hat. Nervously, everyone stared at her until she gasped and hurried over to them. "Sir Dan! I didn't recognize you for a second! How are you? Oh! And you brought friends! What an adorable little boy!" The Pumpkin Witch pinched Joseph's cheek much like a grandmother would do to her grandchild. "What brings you back to Pumpkin Gorge?"

"We need you broomstick," Dan replied bluntly.

"My broomstick?" the witch echoed. "I'm afraid I can't do that. It's being temperamental and keeps bucking the rider off." The group looked completely crestfallen. "Well, I know what'll cheer you up. Why don't you come inside and have some of my pie?"

"After a few modest introductions, everyone, save Dan, promptly dug into a generous slice of steaming pumpkin pie. Unfortunately for Al-zalam, he fell into his piece and had to be plucked out by a grumpy Fortesque.

"Oh, quit it," Xavier chastised. "Just because _you _can't eat doesn't mean you have to spoil it for everyone else."

"Besides," Larry commented, "there's no taste." The Pumpkin Witch cast an annoyed, offended look in his direction.

"Excuse me?"

"No offense intended. My taste buds must have died a century ago." At that moment, little Joseph smacked his lips loudly while presenting his empty plate, squishy pumpkin all over his smiling face. Everyone laughed at the young boys' innocent naivete in good nature.

"But quite seriously," Xavier continued, "we really need a way to get to Sleeping Village. And quickly." The Pumpkin Witch crossed her arms, staying silent in deep thought.

"Well," she murmured, "there's always the Magic Passage, but it's far to dangerous."

"Magic Passage?" Dan asked.

"Yes, The Magic Passage is known only to those who use magic and it bends reality to transport one to another place in Gallowmere."

"That's perfect!" Larry exclaimed. Joseph hopped up and down, grinning happily.

"But there's one glitch," said the Pumpkin Witch. "You don't know _where _you'll be dumped. It may take a dozen times for you to get to the right place."

"Problematic," Xavier sighed, "but it's the only thing we have. Well, besides walking." The Pumpkin Witch shuffled over to her stove and shoved it aside with a quick spell. Underneath was a swirling violet portal where brief images flashed across.

"Now join hands," she instructed. The group humbly obliged. "Good luck you five. Give that nasty sorcerer a kick in the rump for me."

"Will do," Dan called back as they all disappeared into the passage.

'Kay, review, no flames, yadda yadda. You know the drill. Thanks!


	9. Troubles on the Passage

Disclaimer: If you think I own Dan, you're even more of a nutcase than Zarok.

Zarok: Hey!

(Smacks him with a frying pan) It's true.

Medival: Return of the Sorcerer

Chapter Nine: Troubles on the Passage

_The Magic Passage: Gee, you'd think those magic folk would make something a bit more user friendly._

CRASH! BANG! THUNK! SPLAT!

"Arrg! Fortesque! Get your boney, potato shaped butt out of my face!"

"Sorry." Dan rolled over, falling off the crystal table everyone had fallen on that had miraculously stayed intact.

"Hey, could someone help me find my arm?" Larry yelled. "And my leg?" Little Joseph trotted up to the fallen chief and proudly presented his missing limbs. Xavier looked at him funny.

"You've been around death a lot, haven't you?" she asked sullenly. Joseph shrugged and proceeded to help Larry hop off the table.

"Hmm," Al mumbled, hopping up onto Dan's skull. "It seems we are in the Hall of Hero's. Funny, it seems a lot emptier than last time." Indeed it was. Several hero statues were missing, as were many chairs a the table. While Xavier and Joseph were helping put together Larry, Dan and Al wandered off to the top level. As it turns out, only three statues were left; Canny Tim, the Warrior Queen, and the centaur prince Ravenhooves.

"That's weird," the skeleton mused.

"Dan!" Xavier yelled from the first floor. "Hurry up! We gotta go!"

THUMP!

"Fortesque,' Xavier growled. Dan propped himself upon his elbows, staring down at the girl below him with an embarrassed grin.

"Sorry."

"We're supposed to be going to Sleeping Village, right?" Larry asked. Dan nodded. "Then why are there clowns here?" Immediately, a man with a plaster white face and a ruby red nose bounded up to them, honking a horn in Xavier's face before sprinting away.

"Why I oughta-" Larry grasped hold of the girl's arm so she wouldn't murder the clown as they all jumped back into the portal.

WHUMP!

"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO US!" Xavier screamed, sitting on Dan's back.

"Get off of me," the hero murmured.

"Sorry." Larry shrugged.

"Maybe the Magic Passage throws together people who have something in common."

"But you're dead too," Xavier scoffed.

"I didn't mean that." The Mullock Chief winked at them, smiling. Dan and Xavier cast weird looks at each other, taking a large step away from each other. Joseph looked at them confused.

"Don't worry, hun," Xavier said, "you'll understand when you're older."

(Giggles) Dan and Xavier sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Dan and Xavier: Grrrr...

Alright, alright, I'll stop. Review, but no flames, and thanks!


	10. Insanity, Insanity, Insanity

Disclaimer: Nope, I own nothing.

Medival: Return of the Sorcerer

Chapter Ten: Insanity, insanity, insanity

_Sleeping Village: Where you can buy the mayor off for the pie._

SMASH!

"Owww," Xavier moaned, painfully standing up. "Next time we're walking."

"Amen," Al agreed.

Finally, the group were in the quiet, deserted streets of the Sleeping Village. Well, it was until the Mayor came running up, shouting and making a fuss.

"Goodness gracious!" he shouted, grabbing Dan's elbows and shaking him violently. "Zarok's here! Zarok's here! Zarok's here!"

"Calm down man!" Xavier snapped. The Mayor fell silent. "Where is Zarok?"

"Over there! Over there! Over there! Along the river! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Someone _please _shut the fat man up," Larry groaned, rubbing his temples. "He's giving me a migraine." Dan nodded before smacking the portly politician upside the head, rendering him unconscious.

"Alright then," Xavier sighed, pulling out her whip and smirking evilly. "Let's hurry and go!"

"Ah, ah, ah." The group spun around to see Joseph gazing up at them with a left out look evident in his eyes. Xavier pursed her lips.

"Um, you can stay her and babysit the fat man." The little boy pouted, pointing at Al, who hopped onto his shoulder. "Sure," the girl replied, "Al can stay with you." Happy with the arrangement, Joseph sat down on a nearby box as the genie started jabbering away and the three heros headed toward the riverside. Zarok stood near a ship as his guards loaded on veiled cages.

"Now what?" Larry asked. "There is no way we can get on that ship now."

"I got it!" Xavier exclaimed quietly. "I'll sneak on the boat, and you guys head over to Scurvy Docks using the Magic Passage. Convince the dock master to give Zarok a bunch of leaky boats so his army doesn't go very far. That'll delay him long enough for us to thwart any more of his plans."

"Good plan," Dan agreed, "but what are you gonna do on the boat." Xavier smirked evilly, causing the other two to scoot away from her in fear.

"I have my reasons."

Zarok is gonna die! Okay, not yet, but karma will come to kick him in the pants. Review, then stay tuned for the next chapter! Thanks!


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